March 2012
the news: theres a new fruit juice that could kill your kids, more at 11
the news: the terrorists could be trying to steal your credit cards, more at 11
the news: there's a .00000001% chance that an asteroid will crash into the planet. how will this affect your holiday weekend?
women with 6 packs
why
wow i wish my parents would help me cover murders up like the parents in this criminal minds episode. aw life is so much better on tv.
everets:
when did this
become hooter than this
so i wonder if snooki will only have one baby or if she’ll give birth to a whole litter of mini sun tanned rats
February 2012
0 posts
2 tags
i’m not going to make excuses for myself. i was hurt, but that still didn’t justify anything. i mean, gossiping about and generally lashing out at your best friend typically doesn’t. i don’t know how to handle this kind of pain. ive never really experienced it before. i apologized. i meant it. i just want to set things right between us. he told me to delete his number....
when i grow up to be a serial killer my signature will be cutting off my victim’s nipples in honor of the guy on my dash
roses are common, if you really want to be unforgettable give your girlfriend aids.
dictionary definition of blog: a shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies
me: **posts about personal experiences and hobbies**
me: **loses followers**
i legitimately wish i was dead. i lost my boyfriend. i lost my best friend. everybody is sick of hearing me. my parents despise me. i just wish it was all over.
flirting
50 years ago: hey i like you
now: *likes smash or pass status*
1 tag
i know so little about most of the people in my school, to the point where i literally think they have no lives. my theory is that they don’t really do anything, they just kind of walk to classes and talk to the other school people drones in some dormant state, but when i finally decide to converse with them, their lives activate or something and they become real human beings
beyoncebeytwice:
when a website doesn’t let me copy an image so i just take a snapshot of it
someone: we need an idea for Hot Topic t-shirts
someone else: how about charlie the unicorn
someone: that is old as fuck no one care about THAT shit anymore,,,
someone else: what about edgy emo tees????
someone: no.... thats too obvious......
genius: IVE GOT IT
genius: WE TAKE 'GIR' FROM INVADER ZIM
genius: AND PUT HIM ON A T-SHIRT
someone: but we've already done that like a hundred times
genius: WAIT LET ME FINISH
genius: WE TAKE 'GIR' FROM INVADER ZIM......
genius: AND PUT HIM ON A T-SHIRT
genius: WITH "U MAD?" WRITTEN UNDER IT IN ALL CAPS WITH BIG BLUE LETTERS
the conference room is quiet
everyone stares in awe at the genius
someone begins to stand up and clap
the others begin to stand up and clap as well until the room is roaring with loud clapping sounds
someone: its PERFECT
everyone starts crying at the sheer beauty
one million shirts are manufactured and shipped to hot topic stores across the globe
hot topic sales go up 100% that week
if i was a porn star and some guy came up to me saying he was a huge fan i’d thank him but i probably wouldn’t shake his hand.
the scene in the lion king where rafiki gives that speech about either running from your past or learning from it is actually brilliant
buttwipe:
I hope you don’t actually hate me.
1 tag
okay, let me just say something about the oscars. the reason harry potter didn’t win anything was because of its popularity. the oscars are about promoting movies, and harry potter doesn’t really need to be promoted. the academy wants people to think “well this movie won over harry potter, it must be good”
this has been a public service announcement
1 tag
back in 8th grade me and my friends loved robert pattinson because we were in 8th grade and didn’t know better. we decided to rent this movie called little ashes because we knew he was in it, but we didn’t know what it was about.
that really made an imprint on our little 8th grade minds
2 tags
if 7 minutes in heaven is what it’s really like up there, then heaven has a lot of boys sighing and telling me not to touch them
fugrats:
fergalicious deaf
1 tag
Anonymous asked: You give me hope, because you're really ugly but boys still seem to be capable of being attracted to you (even if you do turn them gay).
1 tag
it’s really hard for me to let go of the past sometimes. the past was so beautiful.
3 tags
so a while back i went on a date with this guy and we went to cosi (where they give you a number, you put it at your table, and then they bring your food out to you). well he had never been there before so when were waiting, i saw that one of the waiters had a tray of food that looked like it was ours and he kept calling out “87”. i asked him what number we were and he just looked at...
1 tag
i bet in 20 years, you’re going to need a bachelor’s degree to beg for change on the street
all the people on facebook who just found out about trolling and memes are starting to look a lot like that one person that takes 20 minutes to get a really obvious joke, and when they finally do, they almost piss themselves laughing at it even though it wasn’t that funny.